I see U. (ICU)

Dublin, May 2nd 2010.

Salam best friends, and fellow readers.

It's warm outside, the sun is shining after a day of pouring rain.
Dublin is currently as green as it can be, and the mood cannot be any healthier. If not, merrier.

I was having a halaqa in the midst of St Stephen Green Park with my sisters last week, and I can't help snapping a few shots of the surrounding beauty.

The last two weeks was a challenging experience for me. I wasn't alone, yet I feel like I went through things by myself.
I just started my SSC (Student's Selected Component), I supposed like a mini research, and I was lost. Completely and utterly incapable of comprehending what exactly I was supposed to do.
I chose to be under the anesthesiologist’s team, so I have to be in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) for the rest of the 6 weeks. If what I was going through wasn't enough, try seeing patients that can't talk to you or even look at you.

I have never learnt anesthetics, and I was clueless at what was going on around me. I followed the anesthetic’s team around for the whole first week, yet all I learnt was a medical student in the ICU is no more than a walking wall. That left me devastated.

I was eager to learn, yet nobody seems to have the time to teach me. (I believe this is too normal in a medical setting).

When I came in the General ICU for the second week, I didn't expect much, I just want to get the hand over finished with and be done for the day. That's when I met Dr. Masood.

'Hi! Will you be here for the rest of this week? Just this week?' He asked.
' No, I'll be here for the next six weeks.' I said.
'What year are you in?'
' Er, I'm in the third year'
'Okay, I'm Dr Masood, a senior registrar here,' He smiled.
'Would you mind if I follow you around?'
'Yeah, definitely!'

From there on, he kept on introducing me to all the patients we met and I mean ALL of 'em in the ICU, passionately unearthing possible causes and different types of treatment for the patients. He made sure I was right beside him all the time. That was the day when I fall in love with the world of anesthesia (I am not exaggerating). If before anesthetist to me is just the doctor who sits in the OT (operation theatre) and sneaks out every now and then to sip coffee after sedation is finished, today I learned anesthetist really does take care of patients. Inside out. The surgeons even joked that anesthetist are the doctors who skipped anatomy.

The day went on with me taking a patient's history in one of the rooms. I wasn't sure whether to interrupt the nurse on duty to give me some insights for the patient's status.

That's the thing. Please do ask the people around you for help. It doesnt matter whether they are willing to help or not, the point is, just ask. Nicely.

Alhamdulillah. Everyone was there to help me. ICU never feels so homely. :)
Alhamdulillah, Allah shows me time and perseverance are essential to acquire knowledge.
Alhamdulillah, I learnt that things don’t always go smoothly. Give it time, give yourself the opportunity to make mistakes and learn and learn.

Alhamdulillah, thank you for the guidance, the smiles and the acknowledgement. How simple gestures made my day, and lifted my spirit to gain more.

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IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT THE FIRST TIME.

Do remember that Izzati.

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2 minggu lepas, saya buntu, bukan setakat dengan kerja-kerja seharian, tapi mungkin dengan my plan for the future. Frankly speaking, I was never serious to think of how I would lead my life.
Implicitly, the way the events built up around me the past week really got me into thinking, I need to know what I want. What I want to achieve, and how I want to make that happen. I can't keep expect things to resolve by itself, and I will be happy with whatever the outcome is.
Nevertheless, I am aware that Allah the Almighty is the Greatest Planner. The best Planner.


'Wahai sekalian orang-orang yang beriman! Mintalah pertolongan (untuk menghadapi susah payah dalam menyempurnakan sesuatu perintah Tuhan) dengan bersabar dan dengan (mengerjakan) sembahyang; kerana sesungguhnya Allah menyertai (menolong) orang-orang yang sabar ' [3:153]

Saya ingin mengulang ulasan seorang penulis mengenai ayat di atas,
Ayuh kita hayati makna ayat ini:

Solat digandingkan dengan sabar kerana perpaduan ini merupakan mata air yang tidak pernah kering dan bekal yang tidak pernah habis. Mataair yang memperbaharui tenaga , dan bekal yang menenangkan hati, sehingga tali kesabaran semakin panjang dan tidak mudah putus.

Solat adalah hubungan langsung antara manusia yang fana dengan KEKUATAN YANG ABADI.

Nota kepada diri dan sahabat: Kalau rasa ada sesuatu yang mengganggu diri anda, and you can't put your finger where to, ambil wudhu' dan solatlah. Dia Maha Mendengar, Dia Maha Mengetahui.

* P.S: Thanks asma dear, for listening.

P.P.S: LEYA! Ganbatte for the coming week! Selamat memulakan hari sebagai medical student semula!

P.P.P.S: No of patients met: Loads.

Books currently reading: Arabic Course for English Speaking Students (Madinah Islamic University) by Dr. V Abdur Rahim. (a friend of mine from Saudi invited me for lunch today, Izzati needs to brush up her Arabic language skills, or else it’ll be like itik and ayam this afternoon) :)