Goodbye, Colon & Rectum!!

Assalamu'alaikum~

I screwed up my modified long case, short case and intruments just know. Walaupun examiner baik teramat tapi saya tak boleh buat smoothly!

Mode: Sedih. Dan sedih juga sebab akan meninggalkan Colorectal Team yg SUPER BEST!

1 + 1 = 1

Assalamu'alaikum BFFs!

I know, I know, it's been AGES beta tak update or membebel kat sini. Please forgive my lack of discipline & istiqamah *huuu*

Disclaimer: Sorry about the picture, agak gedik di situ. Just in case u girls tak puas tengok gambar my wedding hari tu. hehe.

ALHAMDULILLAH, segala puji hanya bagi Allah SWT yang meminjamkan seorang suami buat saya. Suami yang bukan saja cukup sifat, cukup sihat, malah seorang pemimpin yang sangat reliable & soleh inshaAllah. Tak cukup dgn tu, Allah pinjamkan kpd saya sebuah keluarga baru yg sangat comel! Ibu dan bapa mertua & adik beradik ipar semuanya sgt baik, tak terbalas rasanya kebaikan mereka walaupun saya baruuuu je hadir dlm keluarga ni kurang dari 4 bulan..

Saya juga rasa sangat bersyukur terutamanya kerana dikurniakan abah & emak yang tiada gantinya dlm hidup ni.. tiada kata yg boleh saya gambarkan betapa sayangnya saya pada mereka.. keluarga saya, adik2 yg byk bersengkang mata utk kenduri saya tempoh hari.. tak kurang rasa bersalah sebab menyusahkan mereka.. balasan pun depa tak mintak.. oh betapa tak malunya saya.. Nama2 mereka semua ni adalah nama wajib & automatic akan muncul dlm doa saya setiap hari..

TAPI..

Sayang pada suami tu berbeza.. Rindu kpd seorang suami jgk sgt2 berbeza... Seorang lelaki istimewa yg saya baru tinggal dengannya lebih kurang sebulan, mampu membuat saya serba tak kena kalau saya tak dapat dengar suara dia walaupun sehari. Kalau saya sedih, dengar suara suami je dah boleh gembira. Magic betul...

Currently..

I MISS MY HUBBY VERY VERY VERY BADLY~

it's unbearable..

Honestly, impian setiap hari adalah menanti kepulangan suami ke sisi saya atau saya yang terbang ke sana.. Cuma Allah uji dgn jarak dan masa.. masing-masing punya amanah sendiri.. saya redha dgn jalan yg saya pilih ni.. walaupun byk wang ringgit dihabiskan untuk tiket 'belon'.. tapi pesan suami saya "inshaAllah berkat"..

Aim saya sekarang adalah memburu BARAKAH itu..

Tak mungkin seorang hamba yg usahanya lebih kecil dari H. pylori akan dapat keberkatan tu, kan? Saya kena usaha lebih KUAT dan didik jiwa supaya lebih tabah..

Saya tak nak kecewakan husband saya.. saya taknak suami saya menyesal berkahwin dgn muslimah yg penakut dan lemah..

Till then, I hope my journey to become a strong and supportive wife is smooth and achievable..

p/s.BFFs, nanti nak kahwin, tak payah dok jejauh la kay ;)

Hasbunallah wani'mal wakiyl, Ni'mal maula wani'mannasiir~

Today's dinner.

aSSAlamualaikum wbt besties and readers.
a quick post for today.
When we're all stressed out,we tend to do something just to ease our mind.
I found out that cooking really does the trick for me.
I am no good cook I can assure you, so regardless of the outcome cooking pretty much give me a sense of tranquility especially if it somehow manages to taste good! Now that's a bonus.

'Daging masak merah..' (Craving for some beef led to this! click if you need to enlarge it.)



'Pak Choys in ikan bilis broth' (Craving for sawiiiii all the sudden, macam2 bila nak balik Msia ni)

There you go.
(Nani kata sedap!~ It definitely made the cook's day! haha.)
Unfortunately can't give it to asma, the newly self-proclaimed food reviewer to taste it.
Ooookay, i'll post the recipe later.

GOT to:
Study, STUDY, study, SSStuuudyy...
[tHIS is scary.. please please make dua for me. exam this wednesday]

"Rabbi yassir walaa tuassir wa tammim bil khair"
Allahumma amin.

p.s. apologies for the low quality pics. I have only my handphone for that.

Pak Ngah Lazim passed away. Yesterday.

Assalamualaikum.

I recieved an sms from my dear mom, early in the morning, (and a few miscalls from my dear mak lang-- it was very early in the morning...) which says:

Pak Ngah Lazim telah minggal dunia pagi tadi.
(Pak Ngah Lazim just passed away this morning)

It was that short.

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. From Allah we belong and to Allah we return.

The title seems to say it all.
My uncle died yesterday.

Surah al-Imran: verse 185.
Every soul will taste of death.

It was so sudden, I didn't see it coming.
Call it fate or coincidence, (Allah has planned it all Izzati..) I called home (Called mak lang specifically cus I missed her so very much) the other day, to receive a news, Pak Ngah was hospitalized after losing consciousness on the very same day I called. He was in the CCU (Cardiac Care Unit) at that moment. [Okayy, since when pulak Pak Ngah has a heart disease? It turns out, he's had for a very long time. Yes Izzati, you ignorant twerp].
The next day, I received the text from mom.

Everything happened so fast.

****

I was so wrapped up in my world, it never crossed my mind that such an event can take place. Trutfully speaking, I was and is still at lost of what I can do. It's hard to comprehend such blatant news when you're so far away. A week left for me till reality would really hit me. Hard.

I used to see Pak Ngah every year, I'd say more than once a year. Every eid celebrations, every school breaks, let's just say every so often. I'm sure things will bever be the same again. And I'm not so sure how I would handle that once I got home.

Naturally, I had a lot of things going on in my mind, only Allah knows.. Every year since my 2nd year of medical school, seemingly unfortunate events took place in my life. Those unexpected twists in life: ovarian cancer, breast cancer, and recently death.

It reminds me of a story:

Imam Malik Ibn Anas saw the Death Angel in his sleep, and the Imam asked him: " How much left for me to live?". The Angel pointed to his five fingers. Then the Imam asked him: " Does that mean 5 years, or 5 months, or 5 days ?". Before the Imam had a chance to get an answer back, he woke up.

The Imam went to someone who would interpret dreams. That man told him: " Imam Malik, when the Angel pointed to his five fingers he didn't mean 5 years or months or days, but the Angel meant that your question ' how much left for me to live' is among 5 matters that only Allah (SWT) knows about, and he recited the following verse from the Qur,an:

"" Verily, with ALLAH alone is the knowledge of the Hour. And HE sends down the rain, and HE knows what is in the wombs. And no soul knows what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul knows in what land it will die. Surely, ALLAH is All-Knowing, All-Aware. "" 31:34

Time does not wait for you. And so is death. For it is sure to come.

With this event, I am constantly reminded of how the same thing can happen to my parents.

I'm 24. (And not getting any younger) People would say that's old enough to be living independently. Surrounded by people the same age, you tend to feel young, like a teenager, when you're not. When you see stories in the telly (malay cerekarama, etc), you get it if the lead characters were orphaned in their twenties. You totally understand it, that the time has come for their parents to return to Him as the children are all big and grown up.

But it's a different story if it happens to me now. Honestly, I am not prepared for that. I would'nt want to go there. I really don't want to.

I came across a question while searching for how to pray for the deceased when you're so far away -(cara solat jenazah ghaib : http://www.al-azim.com/~sungairambai/sjenazah.html)

My father died recently. Could you please let me know what should I do to increase his reward with God?

This is the answer:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) has made it clear that when a person dies, he can no longer do anything about his future life except in one of three ways:

'a continuous act of charity, a useful contribution to knowledge, and a dutiful child who prays for him.”

This defines the way for children to benefit their deceased parents. They should pray for them as often as they can, requesting God to have mercy on them. Hence, the Prophet’s Sunnah encourages us to conclude every obligatory or voluntary prayer with the supplication:

‘My Lord! Forgive me and my parents.
Bestow Your mercy on them as they took care of me when I was young.’
“Rabbi-ghfir li wa liwalidayy. Rabbi-rhamhuma kama rabbayani sagheera.”

It is strongly recommended to say this prayer just before we finish any obligatory or voluntary prayer we offer, at the end of the Tashahhud. A deceased man may find his position with God improving, and he asks about the reason. He is told by God that it is through his child’s prayer for him. Needless to say, this applies to both mothers and fathers, through the prayers of both their sons and daughters.

I don't know how to end this entry.
Please make dua for my Pak Ngah.
May Allah accepts his deeds and may he be placed in His jannah insyaAllah.

Don't forget to pray for our parents.

Allahumma, haasibni hisaban yaseera.
(Ya Allah, mudahkanlah perhitunganku)

p.s hurm, exam in 5 days. doakan kawan2.
(^_^)v